Third World War

What satisfaction do you receive from so much distraction? How actualized does the television really make you feel? I suppose for a nights escape its less destructive than others, but its still a drug. People drown themselves in familiar programs about happy people. When the bottle is empty so are they. The show ends and everyone is just as unhappy and alone as before. Turn on the news, that is educational right? Well, it could have been if it wasn't owned and controlled by a handful of conservative capitalists. To be honest the dreary crap on the local news is so censored, so propagandized its barely worth the time. Goebbels has been working overtime. I hear the propaganda, the call to war, and the lies. Everyday more, and more lies.
They tell us to join up, to fight for freedom against, well they don't tell us the truth. The United States War on Terror is a Race War. It is perpetrated by the White Christian Bourgeois against predominantly non-white Muslims. I hear the jackboots marching again. We are engaging in so many similar policies to the Third Reich, it is chilling. The wars we are starting for oil, in the third world are the beginning of some colonial project that may in the end destroy us all.
When the Third World War comes it will be lead by those left with conscience, they will rise up against the fascism and destruction of freedom perpetrated by the States. It will be a hard fight, but I think the people this nation has tortured maimed and abused for so long are the best to fight it. America long ago sowed the seeds of its dismemberment in the ground when it forced others to plough its fields.
Mighty America built upon the backs of brutally beaten slaves and Irishmen maimed in factories. How long did the founding fathers really believe a nation built upon so much despair could last? I hope if a Third World War comes, the poor, the homeless, the beaten, and the forgotten will rise up. I hope the word revolution will be painted in blood across the cities of the empire. No more police state. No more backward colonialism. Let the people who toil, sweat, and slave for this country actually bare the fruits of their labor. No more CEO's. No more Bosses. No Police. Just people. Equal, and free. Then maybe America can be a world symbol.
Of course, I'm kidding myself. I'm not even sure if America can be saved. The bourgeois revolution of the eighteenth century seems enough to satisfy most morons. The illusion of progress of change. People tell me all the time that it isn't so bad. America is not the worst place to live. These same people drink themselves to sleep every night watching sports on the television. How can the poor revolt then? They are filled with such doubt and apathy. This is the corporate dictators at work. They convince us consumerism will fill all the empty spaces in our lives. We collect junk and buy stuff we will never need until we run out of room in our little cells. Then we have to buy a bigger jail to house ourselves and our stuff in.
What kind of cell do you live in? How big is your television? How much stuff do you have? How much time do you spend listening to their lies? For the sake of the world I wish you wake up. I wish all of us good stand up together, before its to late. America is only a few blunders away from its annihilation, and no one will mourn it once it is gone. I think I shall learn to play a string instrument. I will find the perfect spot to sit down, and I will fiddle looking upon the modern Rome torched by the barbarians. Justice to the slaves of our colonial practices. Justice to the poor men and women struggling just to put food on their tables. I will play into the night, and it will be a good tune. When the fires all go out. I want to walk through the ashes. It will remind me of how much pain and suffering went into building such hallowed lands. Maybe now the Natives can take back a little of what is theirs too.

Absurd Mumblings

There I was, and here I am.
I've always believed at anytime the feeling of the Absurd could strike.
It settles in.
It can happen anywhere, the trigger can be anything.
You suddenly recall,
You recall that everything simplified leads to only one conclusion.
Nothing matters.
We live lives too poor, too short, and too falsely directed.
We don't even have time to enjoy them.
We stand in line.
Everyday the same routine, they ask us to give them everything.
We're supposed to establish credit.
We're supposed to buy a house.
A Car and find ourselves a pretty wife.
They tell you not to dwell to long on these musings.
They tell us to get real jobs.
We try asking them at first, and that never works.
So, we begin telling them.
One by one, we each leave their world, their capital.
Nothing they have can make me happy.
I don't need to buy freedom.
In fact I don't know anywhere that sells it.
Freedom may have sold out, but the freedom I'm looking for is not for sale.
I never want to be perfect.
I want to reject beauty.
I want to mock fine art.
In time all these things turn back into what they are.
Capitalism is a giant Cinderella fairy tale, and you are all too stupid too realize what happens
at midnight.
All the false illusions will come crashing down.
The lies you told yourself will come with them.
I can't wait for this day.
Your cars will just be pumpkins, your house, I'll burn it down.
And your wife will be haggardly and old.
Oh, but don't worry,
Buy more stuff, after all you've established credit and bought insurance on all your precious lies,
Haven't you?

My Apology to All of the Tortured and Maimed Political Prisoners of the United States Empire

If you speak it out it is treason. If you say stop they keep going. We live in ugly times. American globalization is the rebirth of colonialism. Africa, Asia, and the Middle East are the targets. When Jean-Paul Sartre wrote the preface for Henri Alleg's La Question he asked “is fifteen years enough time to transform victims into executioners?” The French empire he spoke of was just recovering from the brutal onslaught of Hitler. Fresh in the memory of the horrified survivors were Gestapo men dragging people off into rooms and torturing them. The terrifying rumors of gas chambers and mass-executions were no longer rumors. People came back, writers like Charlotte Delbo were expressing their pain. The Nazi application of colonial practice to the European scene had terrified the stagnant and bored bourgeois. The French Sartre was speaking to had begun to reenact the same practices over in the colony. French police in Algeria were using methods of torture like electrodes which would offend the proper bourgeois conscious. The trick the French government used when they enacted such violence was an old one. We heard this before. They, those others, those brown people, that inferior race. The French used the same racist crap that came out of the Nazis mouths to justify their colonial oppression. Nazi racism disgusted the world because it was targeted against white people. This idea was touched upon by the great writers of the anti-colonial error. Have you read Frantz Fanon? How about Aime Cesaire? Its alright, but you should.
The United State, yes that rabid dog of the west is frothing at the mouth. The States saw what Hitler did and wondered how they could do the same. When it joined the Second World War the countries liberated knew the conditions imposed by American occupation would be harsh. Have you ever considered why Germany was split, basically in half by the United States and the Soviet Union? The division of Germany was white on white colonialism. America, the bastard half aborted child of Europe now occupied swaths of it. France was made to give into corporate pressure in order to receive any reconstruction aid from the Empire. Europe was now occupied. Eventually this Fourth Reich began to get distracted. It already emasculated the ruined Japanese. No one had told the hard fighting Imperial Japanese soldiers that only white men can have empires. Japan was repressed with brutality even incomprehensible to the Nazis. After the military was defeated the American forces bombed the civilians ending with the genocidal murders of Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Japan, the modern Icarus, the sufferer of American-European colonial racism.
The torture, raping, and murder of the Japanese people by the United States had left the American Government with very orientalist tastes. Not to long after the horrific endeavors of the Second World War the States went into Korea, and then Vietnam. The taste for exotic peoples. It would seem that Washington DC is a cannibalistic animal. It must consume the lives of other people to remain content. The debacle was twisted. The imperial capitalist desires of the states showed the world the lengths it would go to feed its appetite. When the rest of the world was renewing the Geneva Convention the states were absent, the reason being, Napalm. See the generals of fascist America like to see people burn alive. So, America chose to keep napalm in its arsenal. The horrific outcomes of yet another imperial endeavor struck a cord with the people. Mass protests occurred. Who would of thought in America, the bastion of anti-revolutionary sentiment, the people took to the streets. What happened? The draft happened. Enough rich kids were coming home maimed. Corporate CEO s couldn't bare looking at their armless son at the twelve course dinners. They couldn't, for this moment, bare to see their own boys die for their greed. Imagine, bourgeois sentiment stopped the war, not the hippies. The yuppies convinced the government that if we should ever make another colonial attempt we should only allow the poor to die for it. The theory of surplus population and the divine superiority of the rich requires this.
Vietnam ended the large scale imperial attempt in the far east. China would not speak to the Americans. Japan was subjugated, and the Philippines were controlled. The cold war raged on. The cold war was essentially a class war. The Soviets were supposed to represent the people, the proletariat. The States and their allies were meant to be the vanguards of the rich, the bourgeois. America and Europe vs. a Caricature of a Marxist classless state. The American war against communism was a ploy to stifle free thinking at home. So while America and Russia killed people who were different all around the globe, Americans were arrested, tortured, and killed at home. The cold war was an era of America the police state. Swat teams beating blacks. National guardsmen shooting students. It was an awful time. America did everything it could to refurbish and reinvent the Nazi model. America wanted a new colonialism. It got this. The world was forced to join sides. The first world, we chose to consider ourselves the first. Next we called the Soviets, Chinese, and the so called “red factions” were put in the camp called the second world, although Maoist China and Stalinist Russia were not known for cooperation. Finally the chessboard. The map was drawn with the prizes, all the old colonies would be known as the third world. The stages where the two big camps would fight for control. The empires had gotten too big, and the stakes too high. Now in almost feudal like fashion, the armies of these big factions clash in third world theaters. Killing others who consider joining the other side. Murder again and again, all for imperial gain. The cold war ended. The world could take a breath. One of the two evil empires competing for power had fallen. To the dismay of the poor it was the one who had at least pretended to be on their side. The Bourgeois American Empire looked upon the world with victorious conquest. One is reminded of when the Scots stood on the side of Hadrian's Wall Ready to pick apart the Roman cities around Britain. The American dog frothed at the mouth and expanded its power.
Today, in America we are almost twenty years away from the cold war. America has embarked on many a small colonial campaigns we don't speak too much about. Somalia, the first Iraq, Serbia, and others. We have a war on drugs. Which can be translated as a war, funded by taxes taken from people, and pharmaceutical companies. The Pharmaceutical monopoly on the drug trade is outrageous. The government violates other countries neutrality to enforce this Tylenol empire. So the war on drugs raged on. The laws strengthened and the jails filled with the poor. Why do so many poor use drugs? Health insurance is only available to the rich and those of moderate wealth. As long as this is so the poor will use drugs. The prisons will bulge representative of class injustice. The more poor in jail, the more space for the rich. The war on drugs was a continuation of the cold war. It was a war of empire against the people in favor of the bourgeois. The poor will end paying the the bill of the rich. They want more so we are supposed to give it up. A custom of old imperial courts was the poor were to avert their eyes from the emperor. We are supposed to stand out of the way and look to the other side when the rich progress.
America has begun a new war. It is called the war on terror. How absurd! What is a war on terror? I remember, the news said we were attacked. The people were scared. The men in the capital screamed for revenge. The colonial revivalists saw a new chance. Empire! America began a unilateral campaign of conquest in the third world. The euphemisms flowed preemptive warfare, establishing democracy, protecting freedom, never forgetting, and more. What were we supposed to never forget? Do you know how many poor tenants and small business owners were forced to relocate when the towers were built? They fought within the system to protect their homes and property. They were able to take the case all the way to the supreme court. The supreme court refused a trial and the designers tore down the homes and businesses. Do you remember the greed and excess that went into building it? What does the name mean? World Trade? Did it rein-vision the world with New York as its capital? When the building was attacked and fell who were the victims? 2750 was the final number. Multiply this by a thousand and you probably have only a fraction of the people killed for American greed. Worse still the aftermath. Our rights disappeared in the rubble of that building.
The Patriot Act, all of our rights eroding away. Jingoism. National pride blinding the people's senses. America becomes viewed around the world as a giant slobbering brute. The country will show up at your home and beat you to death with its threat of democracy and capitalism. So we occupy kill and murder. We rape and burn in the name of our glorious god. The god of America, cash. This god is green, and made of paper. The country will allow so much suffering for, so long as those who suffer are either poor or not-white. Oh, America land of free, home of brave. How free are we? We have cameras at traffic lights, and armed guards on the streets. How brave are we? Racism motivates our soldiers to rape little girls in third world countries. I don't want to be free and brave if that is what it means in the American context.
Imagine you are in Abu Ghraib, Baghram, or Guantanamo. You do not speak the same language as your captor. Your clothes have been taken away. You are naked and bruised. No crime has been read to you. They take you out, and beat you. You are “water-boarded” and burnt. These are the things they tell the people about. Now think of what really goes on. Thrown up against the wall, choked, cut with razor blades. They pull your finger nails out. They violate you with glass bottles. You starve, and never sleep. You here screams night and day. How far have we come since the holocaust? You are alone. Scared trapped. The conditions are miserable. What do you do? Nothing. Eventually you are taken out back and shot against the wall.
Don't worry too much. They were Nazis. They were Soviets. They were Imperialists. We are Americans those things don't happen here, well sometimes they do, but its alright. This is America. Aren't you glad you live here? Isn't America wonderful? No, it isn't. No, I'm not glad I live here. I'm sorry. Not to you. Not to the propagators, instigators and racists. I am sorry to the six year old boy in Iraq whose mother was raped by American soldiers and father was shot out back trying to stop them. I'm sorry for the world he has to grow up in. The war on terror, is a war of terror against the people of the world. America, what have you done?

Coffee with myself

I sat down for coffee with a younger scruffier nihilistic version of myself. He looked at me with a fire in his eyes. I recognized it all to well. He hated the world. The hate I used to feel. My younger self knew only hate and pain. The young mind maimed with little staples of injustice.
He had to leave the home he grew up in. Not the house, they had only lived in that house a few years. The boy had been part of a poor Massachusetts family. They floated around different apartments all through his childhood as his determined mother fought to make something better for them. She was proud and strong. The boy was young and stupid. He did not understand any of this. He didn't see her fighting the state. A state that stamps your class on your forehead at a young age. My mother, daughter of an immigrant and a criminal of a more robin hood like sort was not destined to have what she does. No, if the state had its way we were supposed to stay in the projects, and eventually die of poverty in poverty. The mother was stronger than that. She climbed to higher feats. They didn't always get along. She fought the state within it. The boy couldn't see the point. The state for him was uninhabitable. The ethos of capitalism was devoid of any value.
The boy tried drugs, he had long hair, all the silly little rebellions. He read Marx, and Camus. He thought he could lash back at the system he hated so much. The boy wrote of the evils of capital. He grew to hate money. He grew to hate the system. The boy even disliked the people. What could he do? He withdrew into despair. Hate was all he knew. He wanted to die. He felt exiled in an alien place.
The boy rejected religion at a very young age. His first question was why did they have to worship the American god? He was young and silly, he talked to priests about the Egyptian pantheon, he was in 5th grade. The boy was silly. He studied philosophy, the Greeks, the French, the Germans, and he fell in love. Philosophy came to answer so many questions. Maybe it didn't maybe the boy just had more questions now? The boy in fact did. The reason philosophy did so much good for him was that he was finally able to express his pain. He didn't reject god because he just never felt him, but because he came to a logical philosophical conclusion as to said deity's rejection, next he didn't hate America, and its people; no, the boy hated capitalism and the rich. He grew. He studied.
The boy felt pain. He felt alone. He succumbed to often to horrendous escapist binges completely unconcerned with life or death. He used to joke, he would say love is the most beautiful thing in the world. He would say he would give anything for it. The boy believed he would never have someone to hold. Eventually, the boy found companionship, they never stayed around to long. He learned how hollow love was. Love wasn't the grandiose deity the boy had dreamed of. Love was a used rubber, an empty bottle, and a warm empty spot on the bed. A woman had laid there the night before. She was gone today. Life continued its painfully absurd character.
He fought on. The boy read more Camus. He read Nietzsche, Fanon, Celine, Bukowski, Burroughs, Burgess, and more. The boy read less Marx. He learned about psychology, sociology, anthropology, and history. He grew more lucid. The boy read. He wrote. He loved, he hated.
I like this point in his life. I remember it. This is when we met. He was still young and confused. He went on a hajj. He stopped at all the old spots of his youth. He and a good friend went around, older more ready. They conquered in past times where they had failed. They built, they destroyed. They even sparred. The boy came home a little more radical, but still lost.
He followed a strange and bizarre path. He woke up one day in a cell. The boy knew something. He looked at the men who had kidnapped him, and dragged him there. The boy made a vow. He said. If I ever end up in a cell again it will be for the right reasons. At that moment the boy became the man I am today. He promised to stop the excess tyranny of the monsters in power. He knew the path he wanted to take, the details didn't matter, only the end result. He would be free or die.

Paul Loraque's A Reign of a Human Race

you say democracy
and we know that it's tin from Bolivia
copper from Chile
petroleum from Venezuela
sugar from Cuba
raw materials and profits
you say democracy
and it's the annexation of Texas
the hold-up of the Panama Canal
the occupation of Haiti
the colonization of Puerto Rico
the bombing of Guatemala
you say democracy
and it's America to the Yankee
it's the rape of nations
it's Sandino's blood
and Peralte's" crucifixion
you say democracy
and it's the plunder of our wealth
from Hiroshima to Indochina
you spread the slaughter everywhere '
and everywhere ruin
you say democracy
and it's the Ku Klux Klan
o hidden people
inside your own cities
an ogre .is devouring your children
Ubu" from the empire of robots
you let your ravens fly
' from Harlem to Jerusalem
from Wounded Knee to Haiti
from Santo Domingo to Soweto
the people will be waving
the torch of revolution
Night is a tunnel opening on the dawn
Viet-Nam stands like a tree in the storm
the frontier which marks the place of your defeat
history's lessons have no recourse
a footbridge stretches from Asia to Africa
the reign of the white race is ending on earth
and the reign of the peoples in the universe is beginning.
'

Logo Freakout

What is that on your shoes? Why is that bird on your shirt? What makes those jeans two hundred dollars and these twelve? What the fuck? They all made in the same third world sweat shops. The same kids are tortured and maimed. Its all the same crap. Buy more though. Don't stop. The crap will make you happy. So happy, that is their promise. The commercial on the television Says if I buy these jeans I'll be surrounded by beautiful women. They will caress me. They will love me only because I'm wearing the most fashionable crap. A great man once said, “People would rather be buried under a pile of warm shit than live out in the cold air of truth.” Consume, buy just what they are telling you. I'm sure it will really make you happy. I'm sure you really need a fifty dollar pair of socks.
I can't stand it honestly. Work more than forty hours a week saving up for things you will never need. Slaving away for a lifestyle that is completely meaningless. I don't want to be anyone's slave. I don't want to consume anymore. It really doesn't mean anything to me. Coca Cola fuck off!

A Fall

Let us take a walk, follow me to the edge of this building. The climb up here was very tough wasn't it? Did you say a hundred flights to the top? I guess the elevator is still out of order than? I have been up here for a long time. I've been looking down at this city. Don't worry we can't fall off from this ledge. I've fallen enough times in my life, once more wouldn't be so bad anyway. I didn't mean to trouble you my friend. Are you cold? It can be chilly out here exposed to the world. Here take my coat. Its a rather nice one isn't it? I never buy new anymore, I always thrift things like this, you see people are giving up on things to quickly. Consumerism I suppose.
Oh, lets not talk politics, I don't really feel to safe talking about them anymore. People do not look on happily when I get on about them. I do not think that many people agree with me anymore. Look down there, how is your eyesight? Mine is awful, I can only see blurs, I can imagine though. I imagine a scene on the street, I see a young man walking home. He has had a few to drink. He walks down the street, and into an alley. A man robs him, the robbery goes bad, and the poor kid is killed. He bleeds to death in the street all alone. Shot dead for money. Why is money so important? Would you kill for money?
Here, I brought up a bottle of wine for us to share. Of course, you know me to well, it is a red table. I know you prefer a blush, but I just can not get used to that sweet stuff. Look at these beautiful wine glasses, my friend bought me them while she was on vacation to Europe. Very fine glass. She was too kind. I really told her I could hardly accept such a generous offer. I know you think this red wine is bitter, but give it a chance, it will really warm you up. Take a seat, beside me as we look off into the night.
The city is so bright, even so late at night. It blocks out the stars. I believe they call it light pollution. Strange, even our light pollutes. Is the world sick? I think it may be. We shouldn't worry about that too much, oh you've finished your glass, let me refill it. I can hear something. Off in the distance, it is faint but beautiful. Somewhere, someone is trying to find themselves. They are singing. Beautiful voice they have. What I would give to have had a little musical talent. Did you know I had fantasies of being a great artist when I was young? I used to dream of being a performer too. When we were little it was easy to imagine big. Now my perspective shrinks every day. Life is no longer the dream of extravagance. The biggest joy in my life is at the bottle of that bottle. I finish a bottle and fall asleep.
I think I am getting old. Life isn't lovely, it isn't joyous. I just struggle to etch out enough to buy a bottle. I finish the bottle, and then, tomorrow it is all the same. Don't worry, my illusions of potential faded away along time ago. Is this place that wonderful? I can imagine if I lived anywhere else I may have felt the same. Disgusted, defeated, apathetic, and broken. I was broken before I was born. You see, they have a policy in this country, if you are born poor, than you are supposed to stay poor. I am destined to remain as much.
Being poor has its advantages though. If they take everything from you it doesn't amount to much. They could take everything and I wouldn't worry. So, I am here, with you, and an empty bottle. Can I tell you about a dream I had? I dreamt that I had fallen off a skyscraper. I fell hard and fast, but never reached the bottom. Instead I would always just return to me beginning the climb all over again. It confused me greatly. I hear that a person who dreams of falling believes that their life is out of control. Is my life out of control? I left and looked for this building. I found it and climbed to the top. I've been up here every night.
Can I ask you a question? If I fell, to far to try to climb again, would you go on without me? I dreamt, and I also climbed these stairs too many times. How many times can we climb these same stairs, how many falls before we can't get up again? If we both went crashing down what would happen? Maybe I've had to much wine. Maybe I'm sick of the falls. When we were young did you imagine life would involve so many struggles? Did your parents ever tell you that it might never feel worth it, but you have to just keep on going for no other reason, than the only way to stop is to die? No, I guess we aren't told that, we are just told it will be alright, and to keep working at it. I'm tired my friend, maybe its been too many glasses of wine.
I'd get up but I don't have the strength, what is this? You'll help me up? There are so many stairs, you would exhaust yourself climbing down them with me? You are a friend indeed, let us leave, I understand what my dream meant now, we only fall because we are alone, and sometimes someone helping us along is enough to keep us on our feet, and if we both fall, well than hopefully we can find more help. Maybe if everyone would just lookout for each other, and help one another than this world could be a better place.

The Beast

Today I saw a monster. It was an awful sight. The creature fed off the flesh and blood of the poor. It toyed with them before it slaughtered them. This creature was capable of any evil imaginable. It clawed out the eyes of those who saw through its lies. It ripped out the tongue of those who spoke out against it. This beast was built with avarice. Its hunger is insatiable. If it can't get all it wants out of the people around it, it will pop up anywhere in the world. No, one is safe from it. Greed, and terror are its strongest weapons.
I saw the beast convince to brothers to turn against each other. He let them tear each other apart, promising the winner some of the dirty little green paper it lines its home with. The creature doesn't care if its killing women, or children. It only cares that it is being fed. It keeps eating no matter how many lives it destroys.
I saw a town ravished by this thing. It was empty, the people had been consumed for standing against it. A terrible awful sight. The creature is not naked, it wears a cape, three colored. It covers up its disgusting appearance with it. He uses the cape to sneak up on people, lulling them in to a false sense of safety, and then he consumes them.
I've seen him tell the people, before he slaughters them, “I'm here for peace, I'm here to bring democracy.” We know what these words really mean to it. Its here to feed.
The beast has a pigs nose. That way its agents in their blue terror coats can recognize their master. He tells them to find anyone who disobeys him, and to rape, kill, and torture them. The blue demons are glad to oblige. The kind of creature that dawns his uniform to hurt his friends for money and power is sick. These little blue demons are awful. They smell too. You can usually smell them when they walk into an establishment. It takes a little while to realize what you are smelling. They smell of decay. The scent of the rotten corpses that they themselves, and the fellow members of their gang have collected. Each one of these creatures will kill you if they feel the need. Terrifying.
I was confronted by this creature, I looked into his eyes, I understood where he and his agents were going. I even learned his name. I vowed never to be a part of the horror he wreaks across the globe. I dreamed one day that he could be stopped. No more slaves. No more endless appetite of insatiable greed. Until that day I will always only whisper his name, never with pride, always with hate, and anger. America, murder of children, exploiter of the poor, demon beast unfit for hell. Go away. Leave the people alone. Stop hurting others for you greed.

America

Awful
Malicious
Envious
Rapacious
Ignorant
Cancerous
Apathy

Short Stuff

Take a note for me. I'm sick of the American government, It models itself after the Third Reich. I'm sick of its fascist guards of the state marching around beating up kids. The police should not carry arms! They are too irresponsible with them. Lock up all the sycophant murderer cops, and empty the prisons. I got a word on the tip of my tongue. Every abuse of the state pushes it further out. Revolution.

50

I live life perched on a precious, albeit precarious pendulum. Some days it swings down into deep miseries of existential despair, and fears of bondage bred from state terror. Others it swings up, full of hope, vigor, and a lust for life; leaving me stronger than I had been before the first swing. Come what it may, but life with all its hope and despair is still just so beautiful.

An Existential Dilemma of Little Concern

I have some alarming news for you. Life inherently has no special purpose. There is no easy meaning. No book will give you the answers. Life is a random occurrence. A bouquet of flowers in a sea of misery. Its not so bad to mean nothing when it begins. When life begins we are merely the ejaculation of semen into some woman. This grows into an ugly clump of cells, and in time it becomes a little weak pathetic creature. We call its weakness innocence, because it hasn't been corrupted by the awful world we've built. We all share this origin, but then we end up taking different paths to establish our own personal meaning upon an unjust universe.
Why then, if we are born without meaning do we end up with so many philosophies of hate? Religion, Consumerism, Racism, and Jingoism. I just can't really understand why so many people choose to find meaning in other people's suffering.
No matter how many times you say it you ultra-conservative-bourgeois elites, I will not believe poverty is caused by the poor being lazy. I will not believe that you are better and as such deserve more. I will not believe that if we all pitch in for a better future for everyone, the world will end. I want the workers to be protected from you. None of your lies will ever get to me. We are people, as such I don't believe any of us should be offered a higher stake of the commonwealth of humanity. This world is ours, we have to take care of it, and share it.
No, I still don't believe healthcare for all will ruin the medical system. If doctors start making less money they will not all leave. In fact universal health care will only lead to better professionals, ones who even if they are making less money are not in it for the money.
The thing is, I respect everyone's right to create their own meaning, as long as it doesn't hurt or exploit anyone else. The meaning I've found for this awful universe on this awful planet which we lease is simple, I want peace, love, and Freedom. Not to hard to grasp. I don't feel like I see enough of these things anymore. The world is always fighting each other these days. Nobody talks, nobody listens, its just murder and guns. People have forgotten about peace and its beauty. Stop fighting please. Freedom, I would love to say that I see a lot of freedom, but I don't. I do not see any freedom at all. A boy told me he thought I needed to know about freedom, he was unable to enlighten me. We are not free, and it is a shame. Freedom is so precious, each moment we remain in bondage robs us of a second will never have back. We're going to die, we are going to age, and the longer we go without freedom the more it will feel like our lungs are going without air. Suffocate. Love, the hippies used to believe love could conquer hate and in its victory dethrone all the other evils of this system. They failed, now they're getting stoned in the woods. Love is important, but I don't see much of it anymore. Where did all the love go? I think it left. Love is like the newborn baby, we see its innocence and some how hope that it will remove all of our failures from us. Love is seen as the way to cure us of our inadequacies, free us from the mundane lives we are forced to lead. I don't see this anymore, love is becoming sick. Bloated by ultra-capitalism. It perverts everything it touches. Love becomes a joke, when it can be bought and sold at such low rates. Love, peace, and freedom. Such simple desires, so far away.
The dilemma has in it a question, once we put forward a desire for a better future, how far do we go? I want to see everyone live authentic lives enriched with peace, love, and freedom. I want to see the end of the ultra-police state. I want to see people saying no to greed, to consumerism. I want world peace. I suppose these desires are absurd and unrealistic, but heck I warned you this rant would merely be an existential dilemma of little concern.

The Descent

Come down from up there. That hill is to steep for me to join you. The slope is caked with slippery mud. I can't climb up there. I don't believe the structure you've built will remain on top of that hill for much longer. I saw how you built it. I watched you collect those materials. I am confident that it will not stand. You forced others to build it under the crack of your whip. You used their blood to seal your windows, their sweat to varnish your floor, and their tears to fill your sink. I'm confident it will all come tumbling down soon enough.
It is one thing to build something imperfect. It is another to lie about it. That building will not even survive a storm. The people you forced to build it, the ones who still breathe are staring up at it now. The hands that assembled are looking at it, the blood lust in their eyes. Do you know the eyes that a slave looks upon his masters possessions? You call it envy, and I laugh. Is envy the desire for equality then? I surely don't believe as much. I think they're just hungry. You did not feed them to well when you forced them to build your house.
Will you try and coerce them to plough your land, and to feed you? Will you whip them as they starve? Slaves can take the whip, but what of the masters? Will they come for you one night? Can you stand the whip? How many cracks will it take for you to understand pain?
I will sit down on the ground and watch. As your slaves rip you apart, I will laugh. They will tear down your house. Piece by piece. It sounds lovely. They will tear up your gardens. Then they will come for you. Still hungry, still abused, visible wounds laid upon their bodies by your corruption. They will tare at your flesh. Consume you. You will be nothing. Your hill, where you built that structure on so much pain will now be gone. Now I will stand up.
I will look at them. Free men. I will smile. We will together build a new structure, far away from your hill. We will share the burden together. Each drop of sweat will be spread among so many it will feel so light. There are no masters here. We are just people. Free people. The whips will be forgotten about, your hill will be laughed at. Humanity will have its kingdom.

The Inferno

Come with me she said, she promised to take me to a world I could hardly believe.
We walked through space and time, and appeared in a starving village, the pain was unbelievable, the bodies in catabolysis slowly breaking down all the fat and muscle in the body, eventually the organ tissues will be broken down by the body as it attempts to preserve itself. We sat down next to a poor child, in death throws, the sight was almost too much for me to bare. I told the guide this was awful what had these people done, she laughed and told me that they had refused to join a band of militants, so the militants burned all the crops and killed the livestock.
We left the village to continue our exploration. We stopped over in a desert, there were men in camouflage killing young children. The green men had powerful guns, and the children had rocks they were throwing at the big men. It was an awful sight. The guide told me this cruelty exists because of greed. The masters of the men in green are obsessed with the gooey decomposition of ancient creatures. The masters would kill anyone just for a few drops of it.
We stopped over in a cafe in some beautiful country. I wondered what the guide could be showing me here. Silent she just pointed at a young boy being followed by two officers of the state, the boy began walking faster, obviously frightened. The officers began to match his speed, so the boy began to run, and one of them dove onto him, they cracked him a few time with their baton. There was blood everywhere, the officer got up, but the boy didn't, his head had been cracked open, either when the officer dropped him to the pavement or from the clubbing of the batons. I asked my guide what this could mean. She told me this is mans inhumanity, they'll kill others because they're different.
Next we were in a factory, the workers were striking, the management and its partners the law enforcement were trying to brake it up. The enforcers first opened up with the water cannon, and the workers still hadn't dispersed, so they gassed the place. The workers panicked and rushed the line trying to get out of the gas but the officers kept blocking them, at one point a shot was fired. Thirty factory workers were killed, left choking on poison gas. I inquired of my guide what had they wanted, she told me that factory owner had cut wages in half so he good vacation in the Caribbean, the workers just wanted their old wages back, so at least they could feed their families.
Next we walked through the streets of a large city, covered with brilliant beautiful buildings. I couldn't imagine what would be so wrong here, it looked as if these people had everything. My guide took me down the street to see the beggars, the addicts, the prostitutes, all cast aside by the city as it grows and tramples others below it. I saw a man with no legs just begging for enough money for a sandwich, the businessmen in designer suits who walked by mumbled he would probably just spend it on boos. I looked at the guide and understood.
Hell is right here, and we are the devils. We are the engineers of worse suffering than even Dante could have imagined. Does that make you feel proud? No, I suppose you just don't care, turn on your television And try to forget the cost of what you have. Try not to picture the child with only one good hand left who made your shoes. Don't think about the people who are dying of starvation while you are gorging at McHate.

Vice & Virtue

Its so easy to do good. Its so easy to do bad. A copper president head landed face up and told me to choose vice. Life is that pointless, that stupid, that meaningless. What is the point then, when you don't really concretely believe in anything, do you pursue vice endlessly on some path of self-destruction? Do you endlessly preform good, hoping in some strange mytho-physical sense of the world you can find a redemption that will free you from the strains of this awful world.
It all makes me a little sick. I suppose existence makes me a little sick. I don't believe there is much inherent meaning to this world. Only we can give any value to it, but since we ourselves are often very flawed creatures, what good is this value? A flawed creature scratching at perfection is silly, pathetic maybe even sad. Flawed perception of perfection is the view of a masterpiece a million miles away. We are reckless, and diseased ridden. Humanity in a sense is the worst scourge this beautiful planet has ever experienced.
We persist, we continue to misuse, mismanage, destroy, kill, and wage our silly wars. Life is a sad absurd play. So which is it? Will vice or virtue save us? The problem is, that both vice and virtue are subjective, we each have an imperfect view of them. Life then is a serious of imperfect mismanagement.
My views on virtue and vice have always been far to simple. I see the chance of either and I debate which one I'll enjoy more. I can enjoy virtue as much as vice, but they never mean anything. Sometimes I feel indefatigable in my conquests of these, and others I feel apathetic, uninterested, and unable to continue this sad polemic.
I suppose a philosophy with no center must always be trying to establish one. I'm to much of the cynic to build a real center. I would build a house on the edge of a cliff just to see it fall. I would save a cat from a tree. I am human. Behold. My center will always be found in absurd places. My beliefs will never quite make sense, nor will I. I was born imperfect, and so I will die. I have poor eyesight so I never bothered too much gazing off at perfection. It is to far off in the distance. The reality is that we can see imperfection, we can behold each other. A philosophy that rejects perfection may grow into a universal humanism.
Recognizing we are all equally capable of the blunders of life is the first step. Every man was created imperfect, equal in the aspect. We have so many flaws so many vices. It is time to find beauty in every flaw. The hungry are in the same boat as us, and we should help them out. It doesn't take much to imagine ourselves after a few blunders to be in the same place. Feed the hungry, because one day you might be hungry. If you see some one hurt, help them, we know how fragile our frail human bodies are.
I think this is the big problem with the police state. It is too inhuman, it pretends that there is some universal standard of right and wrong that if crossed gives it the right to send its gangs of blue boys to beat and rape you until you promise never to do it again. The thing is we are all capable of making mistakes. Crime is not sin, it is human. We are all guilty. The truth is that we shouldn't worry too much about it. If we looked out for each other more, the world wouldn't be such a painful awful place. I must admit every time I drive past a little gang enforcement garrison, or see the lights pulling some poor kid over on the street I want to stop it. I want to pull behind them, and tell them to stop it. Leave this person alone. Go away. We don't need more gangs on the street! Fuck the Police. I would like to burn all the prisons down, and let the torture victims of the police state take back the lives it has robbed them of. They're not the monsters television makes them out to be, prisoners are people just like us, and if we make the wrong mistakes the gang that controls the street might lock us up in there. I advocate the immediate dismantlement of the prison establishment and the final destruction of the ultra-police state of America! Free the people!

Capitalism Feels Like Asphyxiation to Me

I have an awful taste in my mouth, and I'm not sure what will make it go way. It tastes of decay. It taste of pain and suffering. I saw a man hobbling on one leg, poor, and starving on the street. Maybe he lost his leg in some war. Maybe the drugs the pharmaceutical companies pumped his mother with made him come out that way. The world is sick. People are sick. Its dying, and so are they. We are all dying, prematurely at that. A new pandemic has been discovered.
Its called capitalism. The death rate of all victims infected is one hundred percent. It is a parasite. Easily transferred from victim to victim. It robs the victim of all of its strength until the victim eventually collapses, exhausted, enfeebled, and defeated.
The deadlier strains of this violence kill the most among the poor and working class. They suffer acutely from all of its symptoms. Cures are usually withheld because the disease is very strong. In fact the spreaders of the disease plan to keep it around for as long as possible.
Symptoms include but are not limited to; depression, anxiety, consumerism, jingoism, religiosity, obsession with stuff, over eating, under exercising, patriotism, and in some rare cases even suicide.
What a terrible plague this is, but the doctors at Verisimilitude would like to let you know, we have developed an experimental cure.
Its called dissent, That is right folks. It is guaranteed to buy you years more of quality life. Rebel, and dissent. Don't buy the crap they're selling, you. Because it will kill you. Capitalism can be eradicated in our time. Let us quarantine it. Slowly it will die out. Don't let your children suffer for your mistakes. Emancipate the proletariat.

Nietzsche

Chavez

Consume

A Donation

What does it really mean to give? Isn't a gift always aimed at something? What do you desire when you give a pretty girl a flower? Sex. What do you want when you buy your boss a new coffee mug? A promotion. When you buy your child a toy? You get to let him go off and play and give you some peace and quiet. Every gift is motivated by a degree of self interest. The paint coat sometimes is not as thick as others. Giving a gift sets up a bond, a human relationship based to some degree on a desire for reciprocity. The pretty girl who gets the flower may be expected to go out again with the boy. Although the symbolism of the flower is very interesting in and of itself. In our times though it is a little ironic if you know what I mean. So, why do we need to establish bonds, why give gifts, and why develop human relationships?
In so much as a government is concerned, the individual engaging in activities that will provide himself with group power is dangerous. Capitalism does not really appreciate the gift. In fact it has done its best to devalue it. Mass produce crap, create mock gifts, all with the sinister purpose of preventing organization. If people organize than great things can happen. One man asking for justice can not do much, but a million can change the world. If the workers give gifts to each other and develop strong integrated relationships among each other the management gets worried. They hold a series of anti-union meetings and threaten the workers with termination. They call workers being to friendly fraternization. They frown upon this action. Although the term actually means to treat some as your brother. I think we are all brothers,and we should all treat each other as such. This is a problem for the exploiting class. Fraternization is frowned upon in the work place because the management is taught to feel no compassion for the workers. It is taught that exploiting them is alright, and a philosophy of universal humanity is unbeneficial to a system of outrageous exploitation.
Capitalism is hate, fraternity is love. In my life I have seen a lot of people who could be happy with a little love in their life. I may have been one of them. I often look back at myself from a far away place. I wonder if he knew who I would be today. Would this comfort him? I'm proud of who I am. I am a voice of skepticism and dissent. Me and my brothers are proud to be a community of gad flies. We goad the fascists in the majority. We push them, we ask them why, and they do not like this. We are not going away though. A strong feeling of self-empowerment. Did I develop a sense of self-actualization from a sense of revolutionary ideology? Am I merely me as a result of being placed radically juxtaposed to them for so long? One author who described a city in America once said that it was the strangest sort of place, the poor on one side of the road, and the rich on the other, the projects overlooking mansions. He admitted he had always been on the other side, the project side, and that he could never really understand the rich. I've always been on that side too. Arguments against equality have always fallen deafly on my ears. I was born poor. I don't know wealth. I have little taste for extravagance. Things will never satisfy me. I'm a bad capitalist. People are what I am interested in. I want the homeless to have a place to stay, and the hungry to have something to eat. A new car, and a big house are not my priorities. Humanity is my forte.

Hiver

There is something beautiful in winter.
All the fragile delicate beauties of nature laid bare.
Exposed, but covered with snow.
We bundle up with gloves, and scarves.
Covering ourselves while the world sheds its protection.
The emptiness, and the desolation.
Warm my heart, and I slowly feel all the frustrations slip away.
Far away, a moments reprieve,
and I'm back, back to my heart, back to goals, my brain, and our future.

In America

In America
First they will come for the immigrants.
And you'll do nothing, because you are not an immigrant.
Next they'll come for the homeless.
And you'll do nothing because you are not homeless.
Then they'll come for the poor.
And you'll do nothing because there is something better on television.
Soon they'll come for the handicapped.
You'll be to busy eating at Mc Hate's burger establishment.
Finally they'll come for you.
And there will be no one left to help you, and no escapist diversions left to distract you.

Police State

Today I would like to interview an imperialist pig. Although we know none of them would probably sit down and talk to me. They're very scared of the truth. I watched a heartless dog for the country arrest a man last night. It took three of them for one small guy. The reason the initial cop called for back up was to restrain the man's wife and child if they acted out. The child was crying seeing his daddy being taken away by this Nazi in blue. The cop was full of jockish bravado. He looked like he played football in high school. I would of liked to ask him what it was like caging the poor. I wanted to know his gang of thieves and liars plans for the future.
I think I have an idea what this gang of vile thugs has planned for the future. So, the police already arrest the poor the most. Next, the largest group arrested are those classified as others. These others are jailed because of the color of their skin, the language they speak, or the country of origin. I believe the pigs have a game down at the station, Nazi one looks to his buddy and says “I bet I can arrest more brown people than you.” The other thug laughs and tells him he'll get a gay and beat him up. The fascists laugh. Another favorite down at the station is arresting the handicap. The police love fucking with them. Are we sure the Third Reich really fell? Have you listened to the news lately? The Gestapo has been running adds, they say “we'll be out in force.” So these sycophants have been increasing their numbers. They've been hunting. Rabid dogs! If I didn't deplore animal cruelty so much, I would have suggest we put them all down.
The police are on the streets to much for a democracy. A police state is irreconcilable with a democracy. They're stepping up they said. More immigrants in jail, more poor, more blacks, more gays. They've made it clear. The bourgeois who pay these twisted beasts have decided they don't like these types. Well I've decided I don't like the bourgeois and its gangs of extra-legal para military enforcers. That is right, I know you guessed it. The police are not a democratic institution they are the para-military wing of the fascist bourgeois apparatus.
Are you familiar with the famous poem attributed to Martin Niemöller? “In Germany, First they came for the communists and I did not speak up because I was not a communist then they came for the Jews and I did no speak up because I was not a Jew.....” I have one for America:

In America
First they will come for the immigrants.
And you'll do nothing, because you are not an immigrant.
Next they'll come for the homeless.
And you'll do nothing because you are not homeless.
Then they'll come for the poor.
And you'll do nothing because there is something better on television.
Soon they'll come for the handicapped.
You'll be to busy eating at Mc Hate's burger establishment.
Finally they'll come for you.
And there will be no one left to help you, and no escapist diversions left to distract you.

Its a bright future we have to look forward to. The police are a gang on the street with the best weapons and technology at their disposal. We are in trouble. They have the agenda of the rich in mind. Protect property, since we have none that doesn't help us. The police like most gangs are also out to make money. They profit from absurd things, such as tickets. The government fines you for dissent against is absurd bureaucratic legal system. I think the “legal system” is only another tool used by the fascists occupying America to control us.
But I have an idea. I have a way we can escape this fascist hell. Let us open up the prisons. Let us burn down the super markets. Flip over cop cars. If they are a brutal gang of thugs they may only understand one language. That I gang violence. The police is largest gang in America. It is powerful and protected by institutionalized legal loop holes. It must be stopped. I wouldn't tolerate any gang to be controlling me especially not this one. In order stop them we have to stop pretending its alright.
It is not alright. Stop popping pills. Stop drinking away all your energy. The media is lying to you, and your believing it. Shut off your television. Don't buy what they tell you. Look at the shanty towns in America. Is this the 1930s all over again? A new great depression. This time the government has a secret agenda. It is the profit of the rich and the proliferation of American Corporate Fascism. We are the third estate. Privilege is out of control and we are the victims and not the benefactors. Sieyès said “Qu'est-ce que le tiers état?” he goes on to say “What is the third estate want to be? Something.” That is all we want, to be something, to be members of a community that doesn't just look out for the rich, but looks out for us all. Look out for each other. Stop the para military fascists from torturing the poor. Help the homeless. Feed the hungry. Be tolerant and compassionate. Evict the fascist occupiers.

Visible Evidence

The evidence is not invisible. Ask anyone. There are problems in America today. It is held as true that knowledge is a virtue. Intelligence is valued. And wisdom is admired. But as a nation we’ve peaked, and from here it seems we are becoming more grotesquely unintelligent every year.
There was a young man in my English 102 class, the prerequisite for which was English 101. This man couldn’t read. He wasn’t dyslexic (I know because I asked him, and he’d been tested), he wasn’t mentally handicapped, he told me in his thick southern accent that he just “never thought it was important”. This was English 102 at a Metropolitan Community College! That means he PASSED English 101 without being able to read.
Please allow me to clarify, my problem is not with the gentleman who can’t read. Perhaps there was some hidden mental handicap manifesting itself through this inability. Or maybe he developed an aversion to reading for some other deep rooted psychological reason. My anger is aimed at the educational system. The dumbing down of the curriculum, and the ease of passing lend themselves only to line the pockets of the elite with cash, and work against furthering the knowledge of next generation’s proletariats.
It’s because of capitalism that America cannot compete intellectually with most other 1st world countries. Ask anyone from conservative to liberal and they will tell you that school is being dumbed down. But they will not be able to tell you why, or at least they don’t want to admit it.
It is because the schools are being run as a profitable business. I’m speaking mostly of colleges and universities. If a student pays $1,200 for a semester and he or she fails all her classes because they were taught correctly and at speed then he/she is liable to drop out and not return for the following semester, costing the college a potential $1,200 per student. So they cater to the bottom line, lower the standards and make classes easy so the dumb kids can feel smart and continue spending money for further affirmation of their wannabe intelligence.
I personally can attest to this because there were several classes I took in college that I simply did not attend. One in particular, I showed up for every test day and two or three of the lectures in between. I skipped the rest. I should have been dropped because I missed more than 33% of the semester, but I wasn’t. And the tests we’re mostly essay answer tests so there was little right/wrong value to them. I managed a 96% in that class. It’s pathetic.
I demand real education from real educators who care to see me achieve success. Who want me to earn a good grade as a result of their teaching not as a result of the easy curriculum. I want to see education and institutions designed to educate not these buildings they call schools, that are designed to make naïve kids feel smart for bringing home a “good grade”, when any freshmen from a decent high school could manage the same thing. What this leads to is a people who have Associate’s Degrees, and a high school education. And I cannot stand for this. I cannot condone the practice of robbing people of knowledge just to make a buck. You are stunting the growth of America and you’re shooting yourself in the foot! You’re capitalist regime will collapse onto itself, because the only people smart enough to perpetuate it are going to be wise to its inherent corruption! And on the day it fails I will point and laugh, and say with a smirk, “I told you so.”

Democracy (In recognition of good poetry)

the problem of course, isn't the Democratic System,
it's the
living parts which make up the Democratic System.
the next person you pass on the street,
multiply
him or
her by
3 or 4 or 30 or 40 million
and you will know
immediately
why things remain non-functional
for most of
us.

I wish I had a cure for the chess pices
we call humanity...

we've undergone any number of political cures

and we all remain
foolish enough to hope
that the one on the way
NOW
will cure almost
everything.

fellow citizens,
the problem never was the Democratic
System, the problem is

you.

-Charles Bukowski

The Exploited

We can hardly blame the bourgeois tough stance against the people. From their point of view they have everthing to lose. The poor on the other hand, already have nothing, so they have nothing to lose. This is why the state invented police; it is why it invented its own Gestapo, and it is why it has a standing army. The Bourgeois wanted a bulwark against the people. It is a little disgusting to think that the government and its institutions are made to oppress the people, but here and America they are. You are all granted to the right to live, unless the government decides it needs more territory so it sends you to die in some war, or it decides you disagree with it a little to much so it kills you for the glory of the state. Hey dirty feds, I disagree. America is the land where the rich can pursue any pleasure in their lives without restraint, even murder. The catch is that if they kill they have to pay the government, donate some new chairs to city hall, or publicly apologize. If a poor person kills, even if it is to feed their family, in the case of a botched robbery, they may even face death.
Do you know what kinds of countries around the world still rely on the death penalty? It is archaic. Who decides high up that human life is worth so little. It’s the most precious thing we have. For the poor, it is all we have. The rich have more to lose than their lives, all the petit bourgeois trappings of excess and the products of exploitation of the third world. The difference is that the elites will never be free; freedom can not come from excess. Freedom comes from within. The more you have, and the more you exploit, the less freedom you have. Every house you buy, car you drive, outfit you own is one more death row to your own freedom.
Take note, having nothing is being truly free. It is a state of innocence. The poor are beautiful for that reason. You can look into the eyes of the impoverished, and understand how hard it is for them, but you know when the more make love, they are enjoying it much more than the rich. And when they celebrate it is all the more fun. The poor appreciate every reprieve. The rich appreciate nil. The solution, kill the rich. Give the poor more reprieves.
So if I’m against state killing how can I suggest we lop off the heads of the ultra-rich and bourgeois tyrants oppressing our country? Well I think that they have signed the contract on their own heads. The writ was signed in the blood of all the proletariats sent to die in their bog awful wars. Each day they profit, while the families of the poor lose sons, fathers, and daughters for imperial conquest. War is not glorious. Freedom is glorious. Only when we know how precious it is can we appreciate it. America, how far you have fallen since 1776.
This land was looked upon by the world with admiration as it was the first to break away from the old world’s imperialism. America was thought to be the new revolutionary model, but it lied. America wasn’t a slave breaking its chains; America was a son disobeying his father. And the problem with rich assholes is that they grow up to be assholes like their fathers.
America grew into the most anti-revolutionary conservative reactionary country to be seen since the fall of Tsarist Russia. I bet that puts a good feeling in your stomach. You are about as free as the people were in Tsarist Russia. Do something about it! Rob a bank. Burn down city hall! Stop a police officer from hurting more people! Ask the government to resign! Tell them the people can take it from here! Feed the hungry! Cloth the poor! End tyranny!
Emancipate the proletariats, and obliterate the bourgeois!

Meaning

Meaning.
You can’t find meaning. It doesn’t exist.
It’s not something you search for but rather something you create.
You can give meaning to a fart. What’s meaning really worth then?
Why is meaning important? It’s not. Just live. Everything happens.
Not for a reason, but for the sake of happening.
Good thing too because even a miserable existence occupies our lives and adds something to it.
Stop trying to find meaning, and just be happy existing.
Living with the prospect of death is superior to existing in oblivion.
Touch a tree. It’s there for you to touch.
Lick a girl, she’ll enjoy it.
Put your fist through a brick wall and relish the pain.
If you hurt, that means it’s not too late.
It’s never too late.
Even on your deathbed, count the ceiling tiles.
Curse your nurse.
Pick your nose, and flick the booger at the window.
We have a place with things in it.
We have a place where things happen.
Fuck meaning. Enjoy existence.

Redoubt

Build it up, build it strong. Make it impregnable. That’s what they said. They said the fortress of bourgeois oppression would never fall. The workers would never be free, and the people would never be repaid for all the suffering they have experienced. Since the start of America’s financial crisis we have seen the beginning of something beautiful. The empire is falling! It is become old and frail, and the old guard is seizing it won’t be to long before it dies. This is a beautiful time indeed. We could see in our time the end to the injustice of the empire!
Do not underestimate it. A creature in its death throws can be capable of vicious things. Do not stand to close to it. Watch it die with pride. Help it along its way. The creature is in pain. This is a mercy killing. We have come to put it down. The old documents of its foundation are long expired, and irrelevant. Our times could witness a new one. A brand new document, a brand new world, brand new lives for everyone.
We see its insidious claws recoiling back everywhere. Places where it was thought to have dug in all the way, now they are being pulled out. I say to the people all around; if it has its claws in your home, your life, pull them out. The fist of the beast is weak. It grew to fat, and now is exploding at the seems. What a glorious sight! Free from its tyranny. Freedom in our times. Help strike another blow at it.
Tell the police that they are no longer needed. They have looked out for the state so long that they forgot about the people. Now it is our turn to forget about them. Disarm! Stand Down! Leave us in peace! They said they were here to protect the peace, but they were there to crush our spirits. Go away Police! The people can protect the peace, and protect themselves.
Disband the Army. Sink the Navy. Trash the Air force. Disarm the country! Disarm the world! No more killing! The Redoubt is about to crumble, and all of its perverse institutions are going with it. Hop on board it will be a hell of a ride.
Have you ever scene the water running down the gutter and been jealous of its momentum? Well we could see the people flood with a similar momentum in our times. Do not bail out giant companies; do not bail out big banks. You know they were not there for you when you needed them. Why help them. End corporate privilege. You know they ought to be afraid. The one thing they had tried to use to oppress the people for so long is becoming worthless. Money devalued. Inflation could spell their end. I greet it with happiness.
No more banks, no more multi-national corporations. Let us burn it all to the ground and start anew. Liberty only costs one thing, and that is resolve, if you resolve to take it back at any cost than you can have it back. Burn down the banks! Close the town halls! Evict the government! It is an occupying force and unwelcome. Eliminate greed. Stifle intolerance. Reject jingoism. Trash the superstores! Torch the capital!

Women, Explosives, and Plastic Manufactures

Night and day a man wants either a good woman or a good beer. A man wants someone or something to escape into. Oh, but women, what a licentious vice! Maybe if there were more like the lovely Louise Michel, than we would all be better off. In general women can become the bane of revolutions.
It is not their fault, as I have cited earlier there are the Louise Michels of the world, and every revolution could use a woman like that. She had more spirit than most of the men. Oh there was Rosa Luxembourg too, she was another brilliant radical. These are not the women young girls are taught to look up to or respect. The country lacks good revolutionary images for most people in fact. Children aren’t raised with images of Robespierre, or the Marque de Sade, because of all the removing of the heads of the bourgeois. I personally wouldn’t be bothered too much seeing their heads roll.
See the Barbie and Ken Doll image is what they sell to children. It’s a real rip off. Barbie is plastic and blonde and if she gets to close to an open flame she will melt. Now trust me, I may not have the best taste in women, but I know something that should be pretty universally accepted, if it melts it ain’t good.
Lovely Louise Michel on the other hand was famous for her skill with a Molotov. As lovely as she was violent, rallying the communards as the vile Theirs Army was exterminating the beautiful commune. What I would give for a beautiful woman who spoke fine French, and was handy with a Molotov cocktail.
Instead the women I see these days are enslaved. They are told fairy tales, and as soon as it’s too late they figure out what is going on. Fairy princess Barbie becomes Xanax-Shopahollic Barbie. She gets knocked up by some hyper muscular jock, and slowly her beauty fades. First from the childbirth, then the pills, next the abuse and finally pretty plastic Barbie is sagged and ugly. Barbie melted. Ken is fat, and their children repeat the same cycle. What a shame.
At least Barbie landed a man with a big…. Wallet. Which won’t work so well after the years of binge drinking and that thing he picked up from that hooker that one time he has meant to tell her about. The beautiful American dream. It puts a warm feeling in your stomach doesn’t it? Or maybe that’s just an ulcer?

On the Rights of Man

The word right is thrown around to easily; we need to look at these things as obligations.
You have an obligation to be free. Never should you give this up. Not for any reason, freedom is worth more than any amount of money, or any lies about security. If you are not free than you are not really alive. If you do not want to be free, please drink a cup of draino from under the sink. Giving up freedom is the same as consent to dying.
Next, we have an obligation to act in such a way so as never to exploit another person. If you do exploit another person, we’ll find you. The tradition of the ultra-rich and the bourgeois has been to profit from the exploitation of other. We want your heads. When our time comes we suggest you take your own lives before we get our chance to repay you in kind for all of the blood sweat and tears you used to furnish your wealthy estates.
We are also obliged to share our knowledge with others. A high price will be levied on the war apologists and media propagandists who have been lying to the people. All that we know should be shared with the masses, it is their right. For all of those who have lied to the people, I have a grand punishment in store. We’ll turn you over to the mob. They’ll do worse to you than anything we could even imagine. I wonder what poor Bill the factory worker, whose boss decided to lay him off rather than reduce his already usurious pay, will do? Will it feel as awful as he did when his wife left him and took the kids since he could no longer provide?
Unity is one more thing that as free men we must establish. We must care for and assist others. United firmly together we can resist the lies. Unity can stop consumerism, exploitation, and hate. It is an awfully heavy burden, but together we can carry it. If you spread the weight of a heavy burden among enough people it doesn’t feel so bad. Unity is our obligation to protect, and it will be our basis of power.
The final obligation is that to resist oppression. Oppression can take many forms. You must resist them all. No one is free while anyone is oppressed. Classism, Sexism, Racism, and all forms of inequality must fall! Resist!
(Unfortunately no bourgeois were hurt during the writing of this document.)

The Farmer

I watched a particularly gruesome spectacle. A starving stray cat was caught by a farmer. The farmer was full of excitement; he had trained his prized pig to kill. There would be a show. He placed the cat into the pigpen. The terrible beast charged at the cat. It was sickening. The cat fought as hard as it could, but in the end the pig overwhelmed the poor thing. The starving creature’s life was extinguished to the cheers of dumb hicks. The pig marched for his master full of pride, and boasting its victory.
The next night the farmer held a banquet. He slaughtered his prized pig to feed his esteemed guests. The meal was had in the best of spirits all commenting on the quality of such a fine pig. The pig was picked clean and the bones and leftovers mixed in the trough for the other young pigs.
The moral of the story is, a good pig, loyal to his master, and proud of his work, can also be a good dinner for his master too. So pigs, keep killing for your masters, entertain them, and when they are bored with you they’ll serve you up for dinner. You end up just like all the starving cats you’ve killed. Alone and bloody on the slaughterhouse floor.

Nihilism is not always Defeatism

Have you ever wondered if the earth was exploding would you walk into the flames or run from them? I myself would run head first into them. If the whole world was burning I would just like to go to ashes with it. I’ve been in chains long enough to say anything else seems like freedom. My one dream is to see this Modern Rome burning. It may be hate now, but it could have been something more. Isn’t that what one says to a former lover?
No, I would really not prefer to compromise. I just want to see it burn. The capital of the empire is a city of decadence and privilege. The authorities spend their time in splendor, while the poor starve on the streets. Let us take up the gauntlet, and burn it to the ground. I’ll rest easy when it is in ashes. Use the wealth of its excess junkies to feed the poor.
So, call it hate, call if blasphemy, but we’ll never be free as long as the capital stands the beacon to tyranny around the world. America, hero to despots and vanquisher of revolutionaries.

Reactionary Rhetoric will not stop the stem of change.

Reactionary Rhetoric will not stop the stem of change. When Imperialist nations forcibly take control of other nations and topple sovereign powers I get worried.
And this is why I campaign against the human rights abuse inherent in capitalist “free-market society.”
Socialism is humanism. The old propaganda clearly has blinded you. The erasure of civil liberties that you talk about are all in perspective. I know you probably want to talk about the Soviet Union. They were the evil communist specter haunting the “free world” after the fall of Nazi Germany. One old conservative argument was, “Communism? Do you remember the bread line?” I would have to say in response to that absurdity, I grew up poor, and if you know anything about America, this means I was destined for failure, but that bitterness aside, I remember waiting outside the food pantry in a line. Waiting for hand outs, charity, ironically, since capitalism doesn’t favor the poor, we had to turn to the Catholic Church’s food pantry just to subside. Oh so different from government sponsored food depots. Did the soviet government drastically reduce its citizen’s rights? In contrast to the myth, the people of the Soviet Union faired much better under Lenin than the Czar. In pre-soviet Russia the people were subjected to the rule of an absolutist monarch. So, the Soviet Union emancipated the people from the twentieth century feudalism of the Czarist Empire. In fact if you had checked your facts, the status of most pre-revolutionary countries is drastically lower in comparison to their post-revolutionary state. Consider the drastic growth in literacy since the Cuban revolution emancipated the people of Cuba. So, before you lie about the ulterior motives of social revolutionary movements, please take a page from the anthropology handbook, please extract yourself from orientalist perspective, and examine these countries through the scientific lens, and consider the relative growth in overall development, and happiness after the movement.
The regime of G. W. Bush and his neo-fascist conservative cronies was a terrible watershed. We saw a side of America none of us ever wanted to see. It was the era of the wholesale raffling off of our freedom for the perpetuation of capitalism. The invention of preemptive war for the benefit of capitalist development. Invading third world countries to exploit their resources, and regulate in our favor through military expenditure the rate of which we receive their products. This is old world imperialism all over again. We are the new Rome. This is not something to be proud of.
Some say democracy will fall to a flag and a cross. This will be our fault and our burden after accepting for too long the injustice of this Fourth Reich.
I believe in people’s rights. The state doesn’t know what is best for you. The empire doesn’t care about individuals. Only free from the tyranny of states and governments can we make choices that truly matter.
The Bourgeois Elitists are trying to exploit the third world with as much tyrannical oppressions our suffering poor feel. In fact the mission to spread capitalist-democracy to the world is clearly an attempt to bring the entire world under the heel of these financial monsters.
So, in all of America’s wars of aggression, its liberal use of weapons of mass destruction of civilians, and its insidious use of capitalist trade sanctions to impoverish and starve the fight out of its enemies, someone can honestly believe that more people are helped by this blood thirsty super power than hurt. I think Agent Orange, the atomic bomb, and the obsession with napalm are enough to prove otherwise.
Sadam hurt a lot of people. How many people did he help? Every story has two sides. What happened to the status of women in Iraq before and after the imperialist violation of their country’s national sovereignty? In the post-Sadam Iraq women have been regulated to a de-secularized space. In pre invasion Iraq they were not required to hijab, and now they must. Also they were much more involved in education. Not to apologize for the despotic treatment of so many, but to consider the pain the people have felt under our horrific occupation, I think we can see which is worse.
CNN is not an accurate source of media information, it is state run and sponsored.
Water boarding is not the problem, but torture is. No form of torture can be tolerated! It is the obliteration of human rights! Any country that liberally engages in torture for any reason signs the end to its people’s freedom. We know how much further than water boarding it had gone. Transparency is democracy and anything else is a sham.
What if your child was picked up by the secret service, and a confession was extracted from them. They may die, but according to their murderers the secrets they found were enough to save millions. The Spanish inquisition used torture to justify the merciless murders of hundreds of thousands, because they believed differently. Our use of torture is no different. We are lying to ourselves if we pretend it is anything different.
Osama is a hero to many people. He defied a super power. He shook it to its core, and rocked its foundations. By falling two building’s he convinced the people that their rights were worth nothing. The people let the government engage in the most anti-democratic actions scene since the red scare, and these horrendous deeds were committed in the name of “national security”. If we got Osama, if we killed him or tortured him, we would vindicate everything he said. If we were not the evil empire before he attacked us, he made us show our real colors. We are the Fourth Reich now.
Conservatives might as well keep their heads buried in the sand, since they never seem to see far enough past their own lies anyway.
Emancipate the Proletariat! Together we can liberate humanity from the tyranny of capitalism! Verisimilitude.
~Jean Améry

The Explanation of My Personal Devotion to Cynicism

I can not pretend to be something I am not. The nature of wolves has always been that they are wolves, and the nature of myself, well I have always been a cynic. I learned it at a very young age. We know that the things we learn when we are young stick with us for a very long time. If we are told when we are young that we are a member of a lower class, and the system is manufactured for us to fail so as to reinforce its dogma of inequality, and preserve its status, we really take this to heart. I came to understand this far too young. I think it personally killed my childhood. Fuck my childhood.
I grew up in a town on the east coast. It wasn’t the nicest place today after a few years of relative calm it has a higher per capita murder rate than the states capital. Still, a child can adapt to any environment. My family lived in the projects. They were mass-produced low income housing for the poor. It seemed like a good idea to the designers of towns to house the poor somewhere out of sight in one place. I never understood why the projects were not more political. All that human misery in one place. When conservatives on their self-righteous bombast tell us that communism they try to invoke pictures of the bread lines. They say, “How awful it would be.” I actually remember going to the food pantry and waiting in line with my grandmother, since my mother always had to work to try to make just enough so that ends could meet, although the scales were not tipped in her favor. America has her bread lines too. Fuck the conservatives.
I can remember the first time I figured out that this country told me I wasn’t good enough. I had scored too well on the states standardized test they administered to children in the fourth grade. First, they called me to the office and accused me of cheating; they told me that poor kids weren’t supposed to do so well. They said, it wasn’t the poor’s place to think, or to do well. Eventually I believe my mother talked to them, and they decided I hadn’t cheated. I was shipped off to some brand new yuppie school in a rich town that needed to fill a poor child quota. I was a quota. Still not a person, and not even a child, they considered me a statistic that would improve their image. It was distasteful to say the least. The bus began at our town and then drove through all of the other towns. It was funny, it started at the poorest and least accepted and worked its way up. I made friends with a kid from the second town on the stop. Their town was the second poorest allowed in this school. Most of the people there did not talk to the poor kids. We were seen as charity cases or something. Fourth grade children conditioned by their bourgeois parents to hate the poor children already. Fuck the Bourgeois.
Eventually though, since the poor are weak, living off subsistence rations, and working yourself to exhaustion everyday can do that to you, the yuppie parents were able to find away to force the children from my town out of the school. They removed it from the bus stop. They said the children from our town were miscreants, and a liability to have on the bus. We may have been poor, but we were not stupid. It was a fancy way of saying that we were no longer welcome. The parents of our town went to the school, and protested vehemently, but the school pointed out, that they were well within their rights. The school said that it had not expelled our students, but just canceled the bus; any parents who wanted to drive their children to the school were free to do so. This was a loophole, since most of the people in our town did not own a car. We relied on the bus or train to get around. So, the parents left defeated. It was ok though, because it had proved one thing. The schools were owned by the bourgeois. Fuck the Schools.
I grew up more than a little bitter. Poverty ingrains on a child’s memory something terrible. He learns to envy or hate. Neither are very wonderful things. I see people drinking away their unhappiness, and I see them trying to forget their own inequality. I see them choking on the bitter pill everyday. Are we still in a recession? Wasn’t that just a fancy word for saying the rich were losing a little money for once? The poor spend every day in a great depression. Hunger is not new too them. The CEOs of banks will never understand this. The class gap is getting too far in this country. The thing the dirty fascist bourgeois slave drivers don’t seem to see is that it can only go so far. I think they should really try to close up the gap before it is too late for them. Do you remember reading about the French Revolution? Did privilege go too far? What did the people do? They baptized their country in blood. Is that what it takes? America soaked in the blood of the old guard to purify the people? I hope it wouldn’t come to this, but we know how stubborn they can be. Fuck the Old Guard.
America, what does it mean to a poor cynic who means nothing to it? In my heart the word makes me cringe. I think of torture, I think of lies, secret police, armed guards marching the street, and insatiable greed. I see a police officer walking the street and I wonder how many people he has hurt. How many lives he has destroyed to secure the peace and security of the state. Do the police know that when they kill they are still committing murder? Just because America says it’s alright doesn’t make it true. Two men preaching very different philosophies came to a very similar conclusion on murder. Kant said that act as if each thing you did would be universally allowed for everyone to do the same. Sade said the same thing about the murder, that if he chose to kill he would have to allow for the possibility that he himself would be killed. So, the police, if they kill, rape, steal, or hurt others they are creating a situation where they themselves have made killing, rape, stealing, and pain universal maxims. I don’t want that world. Fuck the police.
What can we do to make the world a better place? We can stop the police from hurting people, can stop the bourgeois from exploiting people, we can stop the schools from lying to our children, tell the conservatives to shut up, give children of the poor back their childhood, or tear down the old guard. I like that last one. Death to tyranny! Then again you could stay home. You could buy their shit. You can listen to what they say, and believe every word. Just going about your life everyday. In that case, Fuck You.

Pride

On my way home I passed many people, they were proud of many things. One man had a brand new car, it probably cost more than a lot of us make in three years. I saw a woman with a sticker on her car, she was apparently proud that one of her children had made the honor roll at some school. Next, I saw an old man with a hat; it said he was a veteran of some war. He was proud to have served his country. I wondered if I was proud of anything.
I can not afford a beautiful brand new car. Luxury as they call it. It looks like excess to me. I prefer functionability to luxury. A symptom of being poor. I was told growing up that the poor usually have a certain adverse reaction to being born that way. One reaction is to desire money above everything. The other is to resent money and materialism. I think I have an undiagnosed aversion to money as a result to a childhood of poverty. So, I can never be proud of stuff. Its too bad, some of the prettiest woman out there would love a man if he drove a nice enough car. Alas, I’ll never have them.
I do not have any children, nor would I particularly be proud if they were on the honor roll. The problem with state education is it misses too many critical things. Our society has a strange obsession with progress. I think kids get a raw deal in school. They are taught to compete, and to fight. They are taught to obey rules, and to dislike others. Some schools make children where uniforms. The idea is that if everyone looks the same, than the poor kids will never ask why. Schools deceive the youth, they tell them we all have an equal chance, and we all have equal access to the world. In fact it is quite the opposite, in fact we have no chance. The poor are meant to work crap jobs to make the rich more comfortable. If they want to make it in this world they have to betray each other. People are taught that competition is healthy, when really its sickly. We shouldn’t look at others as competitors. We should see other people as our brethren. We do not have the right to exploit them, it should be seen as the contrary, we have an obligation to help them. When others go hungry and we do nothing we let a little bit of our humanity die.
I would never fight in a war for this country. I do not love my country. They once accused a French president of loving the French people more than he loved France. I feel the same way. Except I can honestly say that I don’t love America, but I have a great love for the people. It is out of compassion that I have to constantly address that they are getting a very raw deal. When our friends and family are sent to a desert to die for the progress of capitalism America has gone in a terrible direction, and it is one in which I can not accompany her. See the thing is, we should never expect progress at the expense of others to mean anything. Exploitation can only breed resent. Revolt happens as a result of repulsion a the sight of too much exploitation.
So, I’m not a proud person. In fact I’m very sad today. I’m sad to think of the children whose families are ripped apart because big business wants more. I’m not defeated in this despair though. In fact I think I see something more. I think that if this reckless band of elitist pigs continue to abuse their privilege than their time will soon be up. We, the people will be waiting. You can only push us so far and treat us so savagely before we return it. In fact I dare the terrible fascists to see what the people will do to them if they keep it up.

Lust

Everyday we have to wonder what draws us to things and people, and what controls our action. Picture lust as a strong sensual desire for another person. People will lie, cheat, and steal for it. It never leaves us in a quite clear sense of mind. Fraternity boys seem thoroughly infected by it, some even resort to chemical appeals. Anything to satisfy this terrible monster.
Serve lust some alcohol, and it does even more malicious things. Have you ever had a couple of drinks, and slept with someone, even though you really weren’t interested in them? If you’re a guy the answer is probably yes. Have you ever slept with someone, and pretended they were someone else? I’m sure the answer is yes as well. I know I’m guilty of lust. It’s a burning desire within us all.
The problem is lust is a poison. Not for any strictly moral reason but for something more simple. Anything that causes us to lose our humanity is a poison. Lust can lead to deception and exploitation, and I for one do not want to exploit anyone. When you trick someone, or deceive them for your own benefit how much better than the capitalist pigs are you?
I tell the fraternity boys who think getting a girl loaded and having their way with her is a good idea, to leave rape to the pigs. I think the evil capitalists and their military’s are hurting enough people.
Lust turns people in to commodities. Commodization is a capitalist perversion. It suggests that quantity trumps quality. We know that if you mass-produce shit it is still shit. So, lust should function on the same principle.
Worse still, it desensitizes us. Every time we keep score, or try to just pick up chicks we are shopping. Another capitalist function, we fill emptiness with quantity. Disgusting really. So, when we tell them that capitalism and commodification is evil, it goes in hand that anything that robs people of their humanity and commodifies them is evil as well.
If you reject their consumer labels, also take a look at your other habits. My friends, capitalism runs deep indeed. Free yourself, and grant the dignity to all people never to be exploited.

Angry Young and Poor

Today I ate potatoes; yesterday I ate rice, and the day before pasta. These are subsistence foods for the poor. I am poor. My bank account is in the negative. The air in my tires is dangerously low. My car probably needs a tune up. I spend my nights alone in the dark. I’m broke and defeated. It isn’t so bad. It wouldn’t be so terrible, if the state left things well enough alone. I had some savings. The state seized them; they said it was because I didn’t deserve a future. They told me I was dangerous. I have a place to stay, for now. The state took my entire pay check last week for its attempt at reform. I over drafted my bank account to pay my car insurance. They increased the amount I had to pay on my car insurance. I studied at the university. I received a degree under the assumption it would make life easier. It didn’t happen. Lucidity was more a burden. The poor have enough burdens. Some poor people find someone to share the burden. I know people who believe love conquers all. In some cases they are right. The capitalist pigs use the word fair to deceive us. They say that we all have a fair and reasonable chance to obtain what they consider the American dream. I wish they wouldn’t lie. There is nothing fair about America. The kid who grew up having to wait in line with his grandmother at the food pantry just so the family could eat that month doesn’t have the same opportunities as the spoiled rich boy whose daddy buys him a brand new car when he turns sixteen. The poor struggle everyday to make ends meet. That is not fair. The system is absurdly out of balance. So I am angry. I am Young and I am poor. And in the words of a great punk band, Anti-Flag, I’m “Angry, young and poor! Angry, young and pissed! Angry no one cares!”

Empowered

To control is to exert total power in accordance with your will sans exception. In this reality there are things you can control. And there are things you cannot control.
The things you can control are: Desires, aversions, goals, beliefs, and essentially whatever is within yourself.
The things you cannot control are: Your body, others, institutions, situations, and essentially whatever is outside yourself.
Anyone whose taken a philosophy course knows this, however if it was learned merely to pass a test than you've shorted yourself. Doctors provide anesthetics to help their patients avoid intense pain, and we take painkillers to prevent or curb physical pain. Why would someone ignore then, the fact that there exist painkillers and anesthetics for emotional pain as well. I'm speaking outside of drugs and medicine. Psychologically we have the power to nullify emotional distress. It is NOT a facet of life, it is NOT inevitable and we do NOT have to live with it.
Exert the power you have over the things you can control to conform to the situations and the things you cannot control. Strip away the emotional context and view everything and every occurrence for what it is. Reality is all we have to cope with.
Take for example a glass figurine that my grandmother gave me on my wedding day. I kept it on the mantel in my home and one day it fell and shattered. The expected response to such a thing would be tears, devastation for the loss of my most cherished wedding gift, fear of what my grandmother would say as it meant a lot to her, and so one. This is wrong, gravity is not in my control. My grandmother's feelings are not in my control, and the fact that it broke and cannot be repaired is not in my control. So why would it be fair that I would feel pain over this? Reviewing the situation; a cluster of glass formed into a specific shape fell and became several clusters of glass no longer resembling what it once did, and that is all. What I can control is how I react to the situation. I can control how I feel about the situation. And I can control my desire for the situation to have happened differently. So I decide to react calmly and sweep up the broken pieces. I decide to feel okay with what happened because it is in the past anyways, and feeling any different would be nonsensical. And I decide to desire the situation to have happened exactly as it did. So the loss did not affect my day, it did not affect my mood, and I feel content with the way things unfolded.
My grandmother, however, was angry. But because I hold power over myself, I could chose to be understanding of her anger. You cannot control what other people do, or how they react, so it is much simpler to just accept it. I could chose feel comfortable with the yelling, and I could even go so far as to desire the reprimand. Emotionally I remained un-phased, and even thankful. How else could it have gone?
I could have been angry with myself for placing it on the mantel and I could have allowed myself to become emotionally irate over the loss of this figurine. I could have become defensive and in turn become angry with my grandmother for being angry with me. And I would have spent a week under more emotional burden and baggage than I deserved over this little glass sculpture no longer sitting or on my mantel. It would stew into a dread for the next time I saw my grandmother, and it would put a rift in our relationship permanently. This path seems a bit irrational, that I would place to much power to do harm into such a tiny glass sculpture seems ridiculous. But many people can see it happening no other way. And this is sad.
So many are bent on controlling the outside stimulus, when in fact their exerting energy over nothing. It is impossible to control whatever is outside of yourself, and attempting such things will only frustrate and depress you. Start controlling yourself. Get a hold of the reins on your psyche and steer your emotions around the things you cannot control. This is the only way to withstand the inevitable situations that will arise only to drain you emotionally. "Don't worry, be happy," Bob Marley knew this wasn't an unrealistic dream. And it's a simple as that. He didn't say, try to ignore things so you won’t worry so much, and strive to put yourself in situations that will make you happy... He said "Don’t worry," it’s a choice. And “Be happy,” its within your power to become happy regardless of anything else going on around you. Pain is unnecessary.