On the Rights of Man

The word right is thrown around to easily; we need to look at these things as obligations.
You have an obligation to be free. Never should you give this up. Not for any reason, freedom is worth more than any amount of money, or any lies about security. If you are not free than you are not really alive. If you do not want to be free, please drink a cup of draino from under the sink. Giving up freedom is the same as consent to dying.
Next, we have an obligation to act in such a way so as never to exploit another person. If you do exploit another person, we’ll find you. The tradition of the ultra-rich and the bourgeois has been to profit from the exploitation of other. We want your heads. When our time comes we suggest you take your own lives before we get our chance to repay you in kind for all of the blood sweat and tears you used to furnish your wealthy estates.
We are also obliged to share our knowledge with others. A high price will be levied on the war apologists and media propagandists who have been lying to the people. All that we know should be shared with the masses, it is their right. For all of those who have lied to the people, I have a grand punishment in store. We’ll turn you over to the mob. They’ll do worse to you than anything we could even imagine. I wonder what poor Bill the factory worker, whose boss decided to lay him off rather than reduce his already usurious pay, will do? Will it feel as awful as he did when his wife left him and took the kids since he could no longer provide?
Unity is one more thing that as free men we must establish. We must care for and assist others. United firmly together we can resist the lies. Unity can stop consumerism, exploitation, and hate. It is an awfully heavy burden, but together we can carry it. If you spread the weight of a heavy burden among enough people it doesn’t feel so bad. Unity is our obligation to protect, and it will be our basis of power.
The final obligation is that to resist oppression. Oppression can take many forms. You must resist them all. No one is free while anyone is oppressed. Classism, Sexism, Racism, and all forms of inequality must fall! Resist!
(Unfortunately no bourgeois were hurt during the writing of this document.)