The Explanation of My Personal Devotion to Cynicism

I can not pretend to be something I am not. The nature of wolves has always been that they are wolves, and the nature of myself, well I have always been a cynic. I learned it at a very young age. We know that the things we learn when we are young stick with us for a very long time. If we are told when we are young that we are a member of a lower class, and the system is manufactured for us to fail so as to reinforce its dogma of inequality, and preserve its status, we really take this to heart. I came to understand this far too young. I think it personally killed my childhood. Fuck my childhood.
I grew up in a town on the east coast. It wasn’t the nicest place today after a few years of relative calm it has a higher per capita murder rate than the states capital. Still, a child can adapt to any environment. My family lived in the projects. They were mass-produced low income housing for the poor. It seemed like a good idea to the designers of towns to house the poor somewhere out of sight in one place. I never understood why the projects were not more political. All that human misery in one place. When conservatives on their self-righteous bombast tell us that communism they try to invoke pictures of the bread lines. They say, “How awful it would be.” I actually remember going to the food pantry and waiting in line with my grandmother, since my mother always had to work to try to make just enough so that ends could meet, although the scales were not tipped in her favor. America has her bread lines too. Fuck the conservatives.
I can remember the first time I figured out that this country told me I wasn’t good enough. I had scored too well on the states standardized test they administered to children in the fourth grade. First, they called me to the office and accused me of cheating; they told me that poor kids weren’t supposed to do so well. They said, it wasn’t the poor’s place to think, or to do well. Eventually I believe my mother talked to them, and they decided I hadn’t cheated. I was shipped off to some brand new yuppie school in a rich town that needed to fill a poor child quota. I was a quota. Still not a person, and not even a child, they considered me a statistic that would improve their image. It was distasteful to say the least. The bus began at our town and then drove through all of the other towns. It was funny, it started at the poorest and least accepted and worked its way up. I made friends with a kid from the second town on the stop. Their town was the second poorest allowed in this school. Most of the people there did not talk to the poor kids. We were seen as charity cases or something. Fourth grade children conditioned by their bourgeois parents to hate the poor children already. Fuck the Bourgeois.
Eventually though, since the poor are weak, living off subsistence rations, and working yourself to exhaustion everyday can do that to you, the yuppie parents were able to find away to force the children from my town out of the school. They removed it from the bus stop. They said the children from our town were miscreants, and a liability to have on the bus. We may have been poor, but we were not stupid. It was a fancy way of saying that we were no longer welcome. The parents of our town went to the school, and protested vehemently, but the school pointed out, that they were well within their rights. The school said that it had not expelled our students, but just canceled the bus; any parents who wanted to drive their children to the school were free to do so. This was a loophole, since most of the people in our town did not own a car. We relied on the bus or train to get around. So, the parents left defeated. It was ok though, because it had proved one thing. The schools were owned by the bourgeois. Fuck the Schools.
I grew up more than a little bitter. Poverty ingrains on a child’s memory something terrible. He learns to envy or hate. Neither are very wonderful things. I see people drinking away their unhappiness, and I see them trying to forget their own inequality. I see them choking on the bitter pill everyday. Are we still in a recession? Wasn’t that just a fancy word for saying the rich were losing a little money for once? The poor spend every day in a great depression. Hunger is not new too them. The CEOs of banks will never understand this. The class gap is getting too far in this country. The thing the dirty fascist bourgeois slave drivers don’t seem to see is that it can only go so far. I think they should really try to close up the gap before it is too late for them. Do you remember reading about the French Revolution? Did privilege go too far? What did the people do? They baptized their country in blood. Is that what it takes? America soaked in the blood of the old guard to purify the people? I hope it wouldn’t come to this, but we know how stubborn they can be. Fuck the Old Guard.
America, what does it mean to a poor cynic who means nothing to it? In my heart the word makes me cringe. I think of torture, I think of lies, secret police, armed guards marching the street, and insatiable greed. I see a police officer walking the street and I wonder how many people he has hurt. How many lives he has destroyed to secure the peace and security of the state. Do the police know that when they kill they are still committing murder? Just because America says it’s alright doesn’t make it true. Two men preaching very different philosophies came to a very similar conclusion on murder. Kant said that act as if each thing you did would be universally allowed for everyone to do the same. Sade said the same thing about the murder, that if he chose to kill he would have to allow for the possibility that he himself would be killed. So, the police, if they kill, rape, steal, or hurt others they are creating a situation where they themselves have made killing, rape, stealing, and pain universal maxims. I don’t want that world. Fuck the police.
What can we do to make the world a better place? We can stop the police from hurting people, can stop the bourgeois from exploiting people, we can stop the schools from lying to our children, tell the conservatives to shut up, give children of the poor back their childhood, or tear down the old guard. I like that last one. Death to tyranny! Then again you could stay home. You could buy their shit. You can listen to what they say, and believe every word. Just going about your life everyday. In that case, Fuck You.